My Current State of Mind...

In the past year when people I know stumble upon my blog; one of the frequently asked question is:

"Why don't you blog more often? / Why do you blog so sparsely?"

Even the official photographer of my workplace (it was a pleasant surprise to find out that he reads my blog too :) ...) did ask me something similar too. It's a good question that got me thinking and till now, I'm still thinking why I don't blog more frequently. Don't get me wrong. I know the reason I blog, but as to the frequency, that is a question  that remains to be answered.

Maybe I'm too choosy with my blog posts and what I want to put up? Maybe I'm not naturally easily inspired? Maybe I haven't had time to reflect on life which then minimises the chances I have to get inspired. Honestly, I really don't know.

Photo from here

However, what I do know is:
#1) The process of my posts being created AND
#2) What I blog about speaks of what is in my heart. It speaks of what really matters to me.

An interesting blog I came across recently mentions that;

"A good post may take 3-5 hours when all is said and done."

Well for me, it takes longer... sometimes it takes days. Yeap. Call me a slow poke. I won't deny it.

Many may think that I churn out posts automatically and publish them once I've finished "ranting". Its more than that. For me personally, after writing the basic draft, it takes another 5 or more reads before I publish it. Each time that I re-read my post, its not so much for me to identify my grammar/spelling mistakes (sometimes even after all that reading, I still miss it...) but rather be on the look out for the emotion that the post should evoke. That means that each time I read my post, the impact on my emotions should still be the same.

So to my readers out there, THIS IS ME. This blog is me being vulnerable about what I truly feel.

That aside, in the last 3 months, I would like to apologise for my hiatus from the blogging world. Almost all my time was dedicated to work and the training of the next cohort to be sent out to schools. It was an intense 3 months but well worth it as I saw myself being pushed professionally and growing so much from the experience.

Ever since this post, I've moved on. There was one part that I mentioned:

"So for now, I'm choosing to let go. To let go of these dreams. If God were to fulfil them in the future; I will embrace them again. But right now, to move on I need to let go. I need to live in the moment and realise that maybe, just maybe; there are other dreams that I need to find first."

And letting go was exactly what I did.

Initially when I made that conscious decision, I felt like I was betraying my past and my dreams. There were many tears shed and many thoughts of still holding on to it even after "declaring" it in mypost. I knew that it was going to be tough letting go, but I realise now, just how hard it is.

But like every situation, there is a silver lining. A light at the end of the tunnel. In the 3 months of forced blogging sabbatical  letting go did me good. I DID find other dreams. Dreams that is becoming a reality. Dreams that I never thought I could dream of. Dreams I know that if I didn't let go when I did, would have passed me by.

So in the spirit of moving on with life, I want to celebrate all these new dreams that I have. I want to acknowledge them and take pride in them. So to 2013, as I embark on my life journey with new dreams and hopes, I look forward to the outcome when I get to achieve them. :)

Photo from here : Taking time to celebrate the little successes in life

That being said, moving on doesn't mean that I forget my old dreams, hopes and aspirations. On the contrary. I still look forward to "that time I can embrace my dreams again"; and when that time comes, I will be ready.

Here's to the future...

Ciao.

p.s.: To those who are learning to embrace new dreams and soar, let's continue to strive and never lose sight of the essence of who we are.

To Love and Serve

Going to a Convent School for 11 years did me lots of good :)

Photo from here

One thing I remember very well from those 11 years is the schools' moto; "Love and Serve". 3 words. So basic. So simple. Yet covers such a magnitude of life.

Looking at the life of Jesus on Earth, one cannot be blind to the importance of these 3 words.

1) He (Jesus) came down in the form of man and later in life was crucified, showed us mortals of his "unconditional Love". A Love so great that he would die for our Salvation from the bondages of sin even though we don't deserve it. (LOVE)

AND

2) With the disciples, Jesus showed a foreign concept of leadership. One that required the leader to serve the multitudes (remember how Jesus washed the feet of his disciples?). A Servant Leader. (SERVE)

"... and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:27-28

 As we are called to be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1-2); how do we apply this in our lives? How do we "Love and Serve"?

With that in mind, I ask myself; What is God's will for my life? Where can I serve that matter the most and have the highest impact? What gift / talent did God give me? What is my passion in life? Is my passion in line with God's will? etc....

All these are tough questions which I can only begin to guess the accurate answer.

In regards to the present though as I continue to learn to define the questions above, "Love and Serve" brings to mind the young people. Specifically the Malaysian Youth.

"The Future of our Country and its Leaders lies in what we teach them today."

I've heard this phrase mentioned repeatedly and it puts into perspective the status of our youths today. Are they on a path towards becoming a true leader? Will any of them be able to carry the torch as the Prime Minister? Will they have the integrity to lead different Ministries in the government? Will they have pride and passion for our country that will make citizens of other countries jealous? Will they be the answer to a more stable Malaysia?

Serving for 4 years in the Education Ministry and now with a NGO that's involved in Education, i see so much need and gap; not just in the system but also in the lives of these kids. Gaps that by right should not even exist as every child should have an equal opportunity to a quality education.

Bringing it back to the title; what are we the adults of today showing our youth? How are we setting the example? Do we show them enough love, OR otherwise? Case in point, the crimes and social ills being reported by the media. Do we exude exemplary leadership traits, skills and beliefs? Do we show what it truly means to be a servant leader?

Thinking further into this matter makes me wonder. HOW in the world did we even get to this point? Can we change it? What can we do?

As for me, besides fighting education inequity in my work, I pray for the restoration of the young generation. I desire for a better Malaysia. I want to live in country that I can tell my children of how proud I am of it.

I'll end with the lyrics of a song from an Indonesian Gospel band; UX.

Bapa ku memohon

Pulihkan hati kami

Kembalikanlah hati bapa

Pada anaknya

Biarkan mereka

 Rasakan kasihMu

Kasih yang memulihkan

Bawalah mereka

Melihat kasihMu

KasihMU

Chorus:

Hatiku merindukan

Pemulihan generasi ini

Biar K'rajaan Mu dinyatakan

Di bumi seperti di surga

Every time I listen to this song, the first two lines of the chorus always strikes a cord with me. Indeed my heart desires to see the restoration of this generation. I hope that you too will truly want that.


Ciao.


p.s.:- To all those living to make a difference in the young, no matter what profession you are; I salute you. Thank you for your sacrifices and love for the kids. Thank you for showing that as a leader, we need to first serve.

When September Ends...

A new month has just begun. And this year for me, September started with a BANG! With the wedding of a lovely couple so precious to my heart :)

Wai Nyan and Melody, Congratulations! It was a beautiful wedding and am so glad I got to be witness to it. :)

Wai Nyan and Melody's wedding got me thinking about myself and how my love life is pretty much non-existent. To add salt to the wound, I'm turning 28 this month and have never been in a relationship before. Friends to my left and right are getting married and having children and I have yet to embark on that wonderful journey with my future husband. So days can get very lonely sometimes...

And sometimes during those lonely days, I talk to my gal pals and pour out my heart. Many of them end up saying; "Don't worry Sarah. Your time will come. The man will appear. Trust in God"

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

Don't get me wrong. I love all my girlfriends and know they mean well but sometimes to hear that statement over and over again pains me so much... Yes. I do trust in God's timing and till now I trust that my time will come when I get to met that man God has set aside for me. But deep inside there is also this doubting question that plays constantly in my head.. "What if..."

Many nights with that question in my head, I cry myself to sleep and just pray.. Sometimes I just cry.. I don't know what else to do.. 

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

Countless times people tell me never to give up but most of the time; giving up is EXACTLY how I feel. The exasperation of just waiting and wondering. The pain of seeing friends getting into serious relationships and moving on from there. The bitterness of wondering, "What's wrong with me? Am I that UN-lovable?"

I have never asked for much. Rather, simple wishes of a Christ-loving man and one that speaks English for communication purposes. People say that I'm too choosy. Yes, I only have 2 criteria and I know that no.1 on its own is difficult to find. However, its a choice that I choose to live with because when it comes to a life partner, compromising is that last thing I should do.

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

I've had so many advice come my way and  I've listened to all. One advice that I hold true to my heart came from a friend through a "bumper sticker" (do you still remember this facebook app?) that said "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

There are many other advice along the way too and they sounds similar to this: (I'm sure many of you have heard them before as well) -I may or may not agree to some and I understand should your stand be different as well. 

I want a man who not only loves me but he needs to love God first. For God has to be the centre of my relationship and the foundation that we build upon. (Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

And this:

Proverbs 31 has been quoted over and over again to remind girls of what a virtuous women should aim to be like. Definitely a tough list to follow. (Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

AND THIS:

Many times people tell me "God is still shaping you to be the right person for the man and vice versa" (Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

Sometimes too, I come across simple metaphors and take them to heart. Such as this:

"I've always had this picture in my head of me wearing a ballerina dress and twirling on God's palm. I don't remember how this image came about, but it is one vision that comforts me" (Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

Or this:

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

What I'm revealing and saying now is not easy for me to share as I have held all these dear to my heart, but I know that there comes a time that I must learn to let go. I've been holding on to the dream of meeting that one guy for the longest time. I've been hoping on that thought that I will get to have children of my own one day. I've been safeguarding the hope that one day, all these desires will come to be. But right now, the longer I keep them, the more painful it seems to be...

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

So for now, I'm choosing to let go. To let go of these dreams. If God were to fulfill them in the future; I will embrace them again. But right now, to move on I need to let go. I need to live in the moment and realise that maybe, just maybe; there are other dreams that I need to find first.

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

Therefore from now until that time I can embrace my dreams again, I will have to learn to delight myself in the Lord. Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness... 

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

*********************

 As this month starts with a bang, not the same can be said when my birthday rolls around at the end of the month...

* I will officially be a year older
* My love life will most probably still be non existent; AND
* This journey of self discovery (with God walking me through) is still going to be painful.

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

HOWEVER,

* I will still trust in the Lord in His timing and hope that the man God intended for me is just around the corner. (even though many times I feel like giving up on that hope).
* I will also continue to Praise the Lord and give thanks for His goodness and faithfulness in my life.

(Pic from 'Women after God' collection)

All this;

When September ends......



Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to all who has gone through the same rough patch, or are going through it. I understand.

What a Malaysian Champion taught me

Photo from here

The Olympic season has come (and is about to go).

Many countries are in a frenzy as they watch their national team fighting for gold and Malaysians were no different; the height of which was the match of our very own Lee Chong Wei against Lin Dan.

Its been a long time since I last remembered a scene like this (The last time being the Thomas Cup in 1992. When Malaysia DID win it and boy was it an epic win.); Malaysians hurrying home from whatever they were doing because we had a final to catch. Well now, not just a final. THE Final. The one chance we get to see gold next to the name Malaysia. The one chance we get to hear the national anthem of "Negaraku" being played in the Olympic grounds. THE Final that carries the hope of a whole nation to see history in the making.

**Anyway, in case you haven't heard of this big event in the badminton world, Lee Chong Wei didn't win the gold.**

Upon the result of the match, twitter was flooded with tweets telling LCW thank you.

For anyone who isn't a Malaysian; the first reaction to all these tweets might be "Thank you?! Why do you need to thank him when he lost? And at such magnitude (#ThankYouLeeChongWei trended WORLDWIDE at no.3)?!"

But it wasn't just the twitter world that went insane. Facebook too! Posts after posts kept flooding my news feed and Malaysians young and old, jumped on the wagon to rally behind our national hero to cheer him up (yes, me too). People were citing over and over again how they've never felt so united with other Malaysians and referencing it to the country's milestones like our Independence Day.

What happened? What sparked such furor amongst us Malaysians?

It was this moment:- when Lee Chong Wei's words pricked all of our hearts. Just two words:

"I'm sorry. "

To see such words coming out from a world-class player (No.1 for 190+ weeks) upon losing put us Malaysians on the spot. Many realise that despite the pride to get gold for the country was important, there were many other things that were of more value which we as a nation had forgotten. All the small talks of wanting free ice-cream (from Baskin Robbins) and a public holiday (which was never even promised in the first place) became trivial. Our focus as a nation moved on to things that did matter:- Unity, Hope, Gratitude, Humility; shown all over the virtual world and in newspapers stirred every Malaysian's love of the country and sports. How appropriate that all of this happened in the month leading up to our country's Independence and National Day. :)

My favourite quote from all these frenzy came from a tweet that said:

"Skills win you medals, attitude wins you hearts," - ESPN commentator.

So true.

But moving on, the question that I thought about was:

"What would happen if Lee Chong Wei DID win?"

Would we be in the same spot as we are today? Would we have appreciated Lee Chong Wei the way we do now? Would we realise that as a nation, without any bribery or political agenda at all, we were united? Would we be as inspired to work harder as a nation to one day reach that elusive Olympic Gold medal? (I have seen some young students talking about striving their best for the nation, because that's what they learn from LCW. And they want to continue living this legacy).

OR

Would we be ignorant and celebrate in the moment; happy to receive free ice-cream and (maybe) get one day of holiday. Yes, we would have cheered, celebrated and talked the whole day about it too. But would it have rallied us together as a nation the way we were when he lost? How would have we reacted?

But...

The fact IS; LCW didn't win.

And I have a funny feeling that as a nation, we are much more gracious in losing (in comparison to China) and that quality in itself is rare. If Lin Dan had lost, China would have probably given him a huge beating. Why did I say that it is rare for a nation to be a gracious loser? For one, Chong Wei lost and the whole nation was united. We stood by him and said "Lin Dan may have won a medal, but Chong Wei, you won a nation.".

What I'm saying here is not that I agree we should lose. On the contrary. I believe in excellence and giving our best. I believe in never compromising our standards to achieve the highest. However, what we showed here as a nation is nothing to be looked down upon either. That despite the loss, we as a nation stood proud of our countryman's achievement; and that speaks VOLUMES to the whole world. We showed them as a nation what true sportsmanship is. To receive defeat gracefully and walk out with our heads held high.

Through LCW and our reaction to his loss; we showed the world that as a nation indeed, "attitude wins hearts"

I'll end on this quote taken from an article :

"Hope is a virtue independently of its realisations; it is an intrinsic value, an end in itself, allied to courage and imagination, a positive attitude full of possibility and aspiration. For that reason, you discover more about a person when you learn about his hopes than when you count his achievements, for the best of what we are lies in what we hope to be." - Professor A.C. Grayling-

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to the future of our country's sports achievement. There will be more chances for that Gold. :)

**UPDATE**

And just when we thought we've lost hope. News comes in that Pandelela Rinong obtained a bronze for diving! :)

Fun fact:

- 1st female medallist for Malaysia.

- 1st medal outside of badminton

- Is a SARAWAKIAN!! :) (hohoho... proud moment..)

The Essence of Me :)

"My blog speaks of words from my heart." -me, 2012-

With the help of  Wordle I generated this word cloud to show what really matters to me. :) I'm so happy that the words shown DO represent who I am.

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to random moments that make you smile. :)

Here's to Family..

Was listening to some songs in the office and somehow it triggered memories of me listening to them when I was younger. Then I got into a familiar zone of comfort, thinking of home and my family :)

I realise that I still do miss home and will always be my parent's little girl and my brother's sister. So this post is dedicated to them today.

This video was done in May by my church youth group for Mother's day. I really love this video because it uses one of my all time favourite Backstreet Boys song. (note: The very first photo is of my mum carrying me when I was a baby)

Mummy, Thank you for everything that you have done for me. I love you very much. I pray that I can mature into someone you can be proud of.

******************

This video is the answer to the previous video. :)

Because the Mother's day presentation was so good (apparently there were teary eyed people at the end), the youth felt that it was only appropriate to create one for the fathers too.

Dearest Daddy, It's been 4 years and yet I can still remember so well when you were around. I miss you every single day and still wish that you are around. I love you.

**************

As for my baby brother (who is a grown up already), thank you for being such an awesome brother. There is so much potential within you and to see you growing into that mould is something that I shamelessly brag about. You've come a long way, but you have a long way more to go! I pray that you will grow up to be like daddy; humble, loving, charismatic, sweet. But most of all, I pray that you will become a God-fearing man that leads his family well.

Here's to family.

Ciao.

p.s.: To all who are away from their families. Treasure every moment you have when you're with them.

I *heart* Kuching

July marks my 5th month away from home. *sigh*

As I was looking at the calender in June I realise that I had a free weekend mid-July so I grabbed the opportunity to go HOME! :)


Thursday (12 July)

I flew back on Thursday morning and arrived to the welcoming sight of car plate numbers with the letter "Q" in front. From there I went to visit my lovely darlings in SMK Green Road. I wasn't in time to see my students but I did get to catch the choir group practising for their competition in Phuket. (UPDATE: They achieved Bronze A category!!! Congratulations sweethearts!!)

(NOTE: Will try and upload a video of their practice...)

In the evening, I went to Serina and Albert's studio for core strength class just to help remind me how unfit I am after 5 months away.. (and yes... I REALLY AM unfit..). After class, went to see Serina for a surprise visit and a quick hug :)

Picture taken from here

Friday (13 July)

Friday was a special day. I had the privilege of attending the funeral of an aunty who passed away the week before. When I was growing up she was one of the people who in my eyes lived exemplary lives. Although her passing was a sad occasion, the fact that I was in town on the same day as her funeral made me happy because I then could say goodbye to her one last time.

"RIP Aunty Jolly. You've run the race and won; and now the Lord will call you "good, faithful servant". Will miss you dearly."


Saturday (14 July)

Saturday went by in a whim (sorry no pictures to show) as I met with so many groups from Runnat people to spending time at home (with the dogs too!!) and attending EYM (English Youth Ministry).

Dedicated to my EYMers:

Its been 5 months and I've missed each and everyone of you dearly. To miss out on your growth in Christ is a big bummer for me but I know that you are left in capable hands. Sonia is doing a great job and so is Roy. I look forward to that day where all of you blossom into wonderful men and women of God.

Sunday (15 July)

Nothing new for a Sunday morning :) Went to church and saw MANY familiar faces. It felt good to be back. From church, I went to theSpring for a lunch date with my lovely "SL" group. So nice to finally catch up with both of them and have a girly morning/noon/earlyafternoon outing :)))

The SLs : Sarah Lasung, Sharon Ling, Serina Lim having coffee after a good lunch :)

To top off the already awesome weekend, I then went for the Rainforest World Music Festival with friends (Brian, Joshua Wong, Jade, Jonathan, Sonia, Joshua Leo, Esther and Mabel).

[Top Left]: Brian, Sonia (with can), Mabel ; [Top Right]: Joshua Leo, me, Esther ; [Bottom]: Jade, Joshua Wong, Brian, Jonathan, me

The performances were at the most okay only (not THAT great) so we left early. But the best part of that trip were views like this:

View from Damai Sentral

AND this:

Damai Beach

 Sigh.. Life in Kuching really is the best. This kind of view so accessible in a short drive.


Monday (16 July)

Not much happened on Monday. It was basically just going around buying all the orders from KL :) Had breakfast with Joshua and Jonathan (and a group of his friends). Also met up with Jaime, Joanna and Dan in the afternoon and had dinner with Jaime, mum, Brian, Tanya, Adam and Rachael. :)

Jaime and Dan at Bing! Coffee (101Premier)

Tuesday (17 July)

I flew back early Tuesday morning to get some rest before I went back to work on Wednesday. While resting in the afternoon, I received a text from Jonathan that prayer meeting that night is a combined churches meeting.

I went with half my mind wishing I would skip prayer meeting just this time around.

BUT..

Making myself climb out of bed was the BEST decision ever. The prayer meeting focused on praying for each state of Malaysia and I felt so uplifted after the meeting. The intensity of my prayer for Sarawak (when the slide came up) increased many folds because I just got back from home and I could feel the Spirit of God aching for my homeland.

I was brought to tears as I prayed for Sarawak and till now I can still remember so vividly that emotion and fire running through me. So much so that 3 days later I sent out a message to all those I met up with while in Kuching of my experience:

Dearest friends,

It's already been almost 3 days since I left Kuching and my mind is still thinking of home. 

The long weekend back home was very refreshing for me and I thoroughly enjoyed myself meeting up with everyone. Thank you for all the fun get togethers and hanging out times.  You've made me fall in love with Kuching all over again.

Coming back from the trip to KL, I have a renewed sense of hope. Hope in Kuching's potential in every way. I went for combined churches prayer meeting on Tuesday and we prayed for each state in Malaysia. When the slide for Sarawak came up, many cheered and my heart soared.

Since then, everytime I think of Kuching, there is this fire and drive that burns so deeply and I realise that my love for the people of Sarawak is still so strong and want to serve them in whatever way I can. For the future, I plan to eventually go home to serve in within Sarawak itself. (However, I am open to wherever God sends me and should that be a different plan from what I have, I will go.)As of now, I will have to learn to make KL/PJ my home. I look forward to growing as an individual and learning as much as I can to better equip myself for things to come.

Do continue to pray for me as I embark on this journey and know that I do miss home very dearly! :') 

Take care all and thank you again for the awesome weekend ! 

Love, 

Sarah.

*************

I miss home. I really do. I left Kuching 5 months ago feeling honestly tired and a little burnt out. I needed to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally but external (as well as certain internal) factors didn't allow me to. Coming over to where I am now has brought new insight to me and my learning curve grew exponentially. I went back home this time thoroughly enjoying myself only to find that I'm falling in love again with Kuching.

With all this feelings stirred up again, it brings new perspective into making future decisions. Where do I go long term? How can I serve the people back home best? Is this God's calling for me? Many questions that I ask myself daily but I know that in due time, God will reveal and lead me as He always had all these while. :)

(Just as I ended my message to my friends), Do pray for me as I embark on this journey.

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to those who miss home dearly and desperately :) I understand too.

Of Hugs and Kisses, XOXO

June 30th, 2012

The most ordinary day that means the world to me. :) One of my dearest friends got married (hip hip hooray!!)

Picture from here

Its been a while since I last went to Penang. So the last weekend spent there was really something that I looked forward to in a long time. But today, I'm not going to dwell on the trip. Allow me to just take a stroll down memory lane with my lovely roommates in UNIMAS.

My dearest girlfriends,

Its been 9 years since we've known each other! Oh how time flies!

I remember that fine day when we registered for university and I was with my friends and you were with yours. Yet lots of movement here and there caused us to end up in the same line together. How amazing it is that God put it in such a way that we four were clumped together into one room.

This then was the beginning of the adventures of CD141 (a.k.a Burping Gals)

Back when we so proud of our 2megapixel cameras.. :P (1st year in Uni)

On my 20th birthday. With my gals. (2nd year in Uni)

Beginnings are always tough but after initial adjustments, we pretty much couldn't be separated. We did almost everything together. From studying (Su Yin, this is you) to tennis (all four of us) to shopping, and eating; WE WERE INSEPARABLE. Years in Univerity passed by so quickly...

I remember when we got this we were all SO PROUD of it.. haha.. and how the colours matched the background

Here's proof! We really DID graduate! :)

3rd year went by so quickly. By the time we realised university was finishing, we all graduated! Time spent together was coming to an end and the future was filled with unknowns.

Even though our journey in UNIMAS ended, we knew this was never the end of our beautiful friendship. We made a promise that we must meet at least once a year. And till now, we've been faithful to that promise :) Thank you girls.

2007 - Kuching

2008 (April) - Dad's funeral - Kuching

2008 (October 4th) - Su Yin's wedding :) - Penang

2009 we didn't meet as a group but we did meet each other at different times. However, because we missed each other so much, we met in the beginning of 2010 back in the town where we first met. KUCHING :D

2010 - Kuching

Time flew by again so quickly. October 10th, 2010 came with the official news that Grace was getting married! :D

2011 (April 23rd) - Grace's wedding :) - Kota Kinabalu

By then, Christine was going out with Mike already and things seem to go well. But before she got hitched, we needed just one more meetup (whatever excuse to meet up right?). And so we did...

2011 (December) - Year end meet :) - Kuala Lumpur

Well, the next 2 photos is dedicated to Christine's wedding. Thank you my dear for allowing me to share the experience of such a beautiful wedding. After all that planning, it turned out SO well.

2012 (June 30th) - Christine's wedding :) - Penang

Su yin wasn't in this photo. She was on a plane ride from Tokyo to KL. I want to dedicate this section to her because she pretty much cut short her sampling trip in Japan to make it for Christine's wedding. Thank you dear for your sacrifice :). Although she did not make the church service in time....

2012 (June 30th) - Christine's reception (WITH SU YIN!!) - E&O Penang

She made it for the reception!*cheer*

I recently shared this with the girls and want to share it again:

"God knew.. He knew so well that we needed each other. Even many years down the road. It was all laid for us. Such a beautiful foundation of friendship. Nothing short of Divine. :) "

I can still remember so well. That one fine day when 4 lives would cross paths and create history.

Heavenly Father, I thank you SO deeply for these 3 girls whom you've put in my lives. You knew how much I needed them and till today I'm so grateful for them. You've given me angels that love me and care for me in so many ways. Thank you again. Amen.

My sweethearts, you've reminded me over the weekend how important friendships are. What more to say friendships that has crossed over into sisterhood. You all are amazing. I love you.

XOXO.

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to friendships that means the world to you. You need them.

p.p.s: So..gals, its the 10th year next year.. where should we go? :)

Daddy's Day

(June 17, 2012)

"Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all"

Today is Father's Day.

4 years ago, my heart was broken, my dream was shattered. Today I was reminded of that shattered dream and that brokenness. Never will I be able to walk down the aisle with Daddy by my side. Yet, today too, I am reminded that God above is also my Father and that He will be my guide.

Coming out of service today, I have a renewed hope. New dreams can be created and my heart can be mended. Its just whether I'm willing to allow myself to go through that process :)

But there will always be there special place for both Dads in Heaven and would like to take this opportunity to say Happy Father's Day to them.

I miss you much Daddy.

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I wrote this 2 weeks ago. Like any typical Sunday, I went for church service. During the service, the pastor talked about the role of the Father and used the analogy of the Wedding March where the father will walk the daughter down the aisle. Watching the "models" act according to the sermon made me think about my wedding in the future (if it ever were to happen). Hence my reaction.

But the Good Lord reminded me again, that although my dreams were shattered, He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me (Deut 31:6). Everything happens for a reason and that I just needed to trust in Him.

The pain of losing my daddy 4 years ago would probably never go away, but together with that pain, I have many years of loving memories with him. One of my favourite memories is when daddy was bedridden and I had just bought a new dress. I asked him if he wanted to see me wear it and he nodded his head (by then he couldn't speak any more). I changed into the gown and climbed a stool so that he could see the full dress. When I told him to open his eyes, he saw me. He cried. Yet, between the tears I could see the smile in his eyes.

He was proud of me.

He LOVED me. It was all there in that moment.

I could feel it.

And till today, I remember it.

Bringing it back to that broken dream again, God again reminded me through his Word that "all is well"

For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..." ~Jeremiah 29:11~

All is well indeed.

Ciao.

p.s:  Here's to those who has had dreams shattered before. There is hope still.

So, how's life?

Recently I was shown a link to a blog and started reading it. This then got me blog surfing and I came across a few nice ones. One in particular interested me because it talked about life teaching in a rural school in Sarawak. To see someone keeping his blog for so long reminded me of my friend who also kept his blog for the longest time. (It's kinda in hiatus now because of matrimonial preparations).

Long story short, this trail of reading blog posts sparked something within me. I remembered my blog and how I enjoyed pouring out my writing. I remembered the feeling when I always end my blog with a shout out to all those going through similar experiences as me. I remembered too that even though no one really read my blog, I knew I had a voice. A voice that spoke my hearts' content and a voice that was true to me.

I looked back at my old posts and wanted to see what went through my mind then :)

Posts like this; reminded me of my passion and what I love. Posts like this and this; reminded me of my conviction. Post like this, this and this; just made me smile. :)

So here I am again. Starring at the screen wondering if I should take this plunge for the 3rd time (Yes, that's how many times I've left my blog only to come back to it again) and give blogging another go. To give a promise that this will be forever would probably be a lie but I do want to see where blogging this time around takes me.

In the last year (since my last post), many things happened. Many happiness and sorrows to share but I will be selective of my posts. I want this blog to be impactful even if it means just to one reader out there.

With exciting jumps in my heart, I'm signing off again after a 9 month break. :)

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to all those who has read my blog before. Thank you.