Courtship?

How do I love Thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee too the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love with a passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning ~

****************

A student of mine yesterday randomly asked me a question.

"Teacher, are you ready to court?"

Wow.. straight out. No filtration. No easing of words into the topic. Dead straight to the point. How was I going to answer this? Am I of age to court?

To answer honestly.. If you go by "natural order of the earth" (well I've always wanted to use this phrase..hehe) at my age right now, I should be having my first child or at least getting married. But here I am, OF AGE, but never been in a relationship. Am I ready to court?

I still stand true to my belief that I will not get into a relationship that does not have marriage as a goal. And the longer this prolongs, the more I do question myself, "Am I born to lead a life of celibacy?" I mean, celibacy isn't THAT bad. There are many beautiful, strong, courages women of God that has lived a single life and done many things for God's Glory.. And sometimes I do aspire to have that kind of impact on the world. But... there is another side of me that just wants to nurture and build lives and impact them in their individual lives. In case that didn't make sense, I'll get straight to the point. I want to be a wife and mother. I also want companionship. To build a relationship of love in this small unit of life called a FAMILY.

With all that being said, should I start getting desperate and throw myself at any guy that comes my way?! Should I start flirting with random guys whom I think fits my physical requirements?! Should I start chatting up  (or email or facebook) long lost guy friends whom I know are still single so that I can widen my pool of choice (come on la.. I chat with them doesn't mean they want to chat with me mah..who am I kidding)?! Should I?

Obviously my answer would be NO. I do believe there is the right someone for me out there. And he's looking for me. And I do believe that God will bring him to me when the time is right. But until that time comes, I have to prepare myself to be better and I believe God is shaping me to be that person. What if that person doesn't exist? Then I pray that God will give me the grace to accept that..

Now that all is mentioned, the very same question comes to mind again:

"Am I ready to court?"

"Why, its elementary my dear Watson, elementary"...

YES.

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to those who are having the same dilemma as I am. Cheers!