Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Even If

Joining this trip meant it was hitting some of my dreams :)

[Background : In this strange time of Movement Control Order, I was going through some old things and I came across a piece of paper. And I realised it was a sharing that I prepared for about a year and a half ago.]

During my trip to Myanmar in 2018, to join a team running a youth and children's camp, I was given the opportunity to share a devotion with the team and this was my sharing as written then:


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The passage that I'm sharing today is from
Daniel 3 : 13-18

13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?” 

16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.
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Hi my name is Sarah.

I'm 34 years old with many dreams or desires and many wishes unfulfilled.

Together with my core family unit, we went through quite a few tough years when my daddy was sick. Symptoms of Multiple System Atrophy (MSA) in my dad surfaced since I was 17 years old and as each year passed by, his conditioned deteriorated and my immediate world was filled with "what ifs".


What if daddy remains in a wheelchair all his life?
What if daddy doesn't get to see me graduate?
What if daddy never walks me down the aisle?

... and it went on and on for years till my fathers' passing. Yet now even after my dad has passed on, many "what ifs" still linger


What if I never find someone to share my life with?
What if I leave before my mom? I don't want to be another cause of heartache for her.
She has lost so much.


And you know what? All these "what ifs" didn't help anything except to make me more insecure in life.

BUT...

God is Good. He reminds, rebukes and relates in various ways.

Recently through an article, he reminded me of this passage and changed all my "what ifs" into "even ifs"

And just like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego; that even if the worst happens, God's Grace is sufficient. That no matter the outcome, it would ultimately be for God's Glory.

Quoting this article : 
"Replacing "what ifs" with "even ifs" is one of the most liberating exchanges we can ever make. We trade an irrational fear of an uncertain future for the loving assurance of an unchanging God. We see that even if the worst happens, God will carry us. He will still be good and he will never leave us."

And looking back, God has been nothing but Good.

Even if daddy deteriorated, he sustained our strength to care for him.
Even if medical bills came, God pulled through in ways unimaginable
Even though I was away for part of his sickness studying in the other end of Malaysia and my mom telling me to just come home and drop my studies, God sustained us.

Even though
Even if
Even if...

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I will end this testimony with a passage from Habakkuk:


Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails,
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen,
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior
                                  
                                                ~ Habakkuk 3:17-18 ~

The Malaysian Half of the team. The other half was from Australia (they went to visit a different village)



p.s. : I don't know how long this Blogging Bug will last. But it's good to be back.

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