Daddy's Day

(June 17, 2012)

"Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all"

Today is Father's Day.

4 years ago, my heart was broken, my dream was shattered. Today I was reminded of that shattered dream and that brokenness. Never will I be able to walk down the aisle with Daddy by my side. Yet, today too, I am reminded that God above is also my Father and that He will be my guide.

Coming out of service today, I have a renewed hope. New dreams can be created and my heart can be mended. Its just whether I'm willing to allow myself to go through that process :)

But there will always be there special place for both Dads in Heaven and would like to take this opportunity to say Happy Father's Day to them.

I miss you much Daddy.

******************

I wrote this 2 weeks ago. Like any typical Sunday, I went for church service. During the service, the pastor talked about the role of the Father and used the analogy of the Wedding March where the father will walk the daughter down the aisle. Watching the "models" act according to the sermon made me think about my wedding in the future (if it ever were to happen). Hence my reaction.

But the Good Lord reminded me again, that although my dreams were shattered, He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me (Deut 31:6). Everything happens for a reason and that I just needed to trust in Him.

The pain of losing my daddy 4 years ago would probably never go away, but together with that pain, I have many years of loving memories with him. One of my favourite memories is when daddy was bedridden and I had just bought a new dress. I asked him if he wanted to see me wear it and he nodded his head (by then he couldn't speak any more). I changed into the gown and climbed a stool so that he could see the full dress. When I told him to open his eyes, he saw me. He cried. Yet, between the tears I could see the smile in his eyes.

He was proud of me.

He LOVED me. It was all there in that moment.

I could feel it.

And till today, I remember it.

Bringing it back to that broken dream again, God again reminded me through his Word that "all is well"

For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..." ~Jeremiah 29:11~

All is well indeed.

Ciao.

p.s:  Here's to those who has had dreams shattered before. There is hope still.

So, how's life?

Recently I was shown a link to a blog and started reading it. This then got me blog surfing and I came across a few nice ones. One in particular interested me because it talked about life teaching in a rural school in Sarawak. To see someone keeping his blog for so long reminded me of my friend who also kept his blog for the longest time. (It's kinda in hiatus now because of matrimonial preparations).

Long story short, this trail of reading blog posts sparked something within me. I remembered my blog and how I enjoyed pouring out my writing. I remembered the feeling when I always end my blog with a shout out to all those going through similar experiences as me. I remembered too that even though no one really read my blog, I knew I had a voice. A voice that spoke my hearts' content and a voice that was true to me.

I looked back at my old posts and wanted to see what went through my mind then :)

Posts like this; reminded me of my passion and what I love. Posts like this and this; reminded me of my conviction. Post like this, this and this; just made me smile. :)

So here I am again. Starring at the screen wondering if I should take this plunge for the 3rd time (Yes, that's how many times I've left my blog only to come back to it again) and give blogging another go. To give a promise that this will be forever would probably be a lie but I do want to see where blogging this time around takes me.

In the last year (since my last post), many things happened. Many happiness and sorrows to share but I will be selective of my posts. I want this blog to be impactful even if it means just to one reader out there.

With exciting jumps in my heart, I'm signing off again after a 9 month break. :)

Ciao.

p.s.: Here's to all those who has read my blog before. Thank you.