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| Where will my footsteps take me next? |
15 days ago I moved my life to a new location.
7 days ago I was reminded of God's unconditional Love through Christmas
4 days ago I wrote on facebook about my dream
3 days ago the nation was shaken by the news of a missing plane
2 days ago I fell sick and remembered Daddy
Yesterday I celebrated 2014 in a BBQ Dinner with family and amazing friends.
BECAUSE OF THIS,
So much emotions stirred in the last few days (and weeks).
So much thoughts continuously brewing in my mind.
So many people around to suppress the stimuli bombarding my senses.
AND,
When we welcomed the New Year, I smiled.
When the clock struck 12 and fireworks went of all around, I cheered.
When others came to give hugs and high fives, I reciprocated.
BUT,
None of that really showed the thoughts running through my head.
None of it showed what was going on in my heart.
Nothing showed the soul that was crying out. Wailing out.
Desperately.
As I sit here writing all this out during such an inhumane hour, I can't help but cry as I try to cope with this overwhelming experience...
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Oh Dear Abba Father,
Only you know the desperation that resides in my heart. You know of the dream that I have : That I still hope on even though the glimmer of light dims even more.
Abba Father,
Only you know what the future holds for me. Only you know why I am going through all this. Only you can give me the wisdom to process all my thoughts and feelings as you reveal your plan for me.
Abba Father,
Only you understand the loneliness that this fragile heart feels even though it is physically surrounded by so many others.
Abba Father,
As a new year begins, please be my guiding light, the lamp unto my feet. That as I go through all this inner turmoil that I would have nothing else to sing praises of but of Your Grace and Mercy and Faithfulness in my live.
Amen.
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Lots more still to process of the next few weeks (or even months)...
Ciao.
p.s.: Happy New Year to one and all. Let's make the best of 2015. :)
[Disclaimer : I AM very grateful for the experiences of 2014 and what it has taught me and the many amazing individuals it has brought into my life. However, this post was written to lighten the myriad of jumbled emotions and thoughts in me as I try to make sense of things.]
