Can You Hear That?

View from Damai Sentral

[Note: To be read at a slow pace with a slight pause after every line]


Can you hear that?
Can you hear the raindrops hitting the window?
Can you hear it drowning the voices in my head,
Screaming out, 'what if's, 'why not's and 'maybe's?

Can you hear that?

Can you hear my footsteps walking, running?

Can you hear them moving faster by the minute,

Trying to run away from the distraction that is in my head and heart?

Can you hear that?

Can you hear the droplets hitting the table?

Can you hear the irregular beats it creates,

As it rolls off my face?

Can you hear that?

Can you hear my heart beating against my chest?

Can you hear how fast it thumps,

EVERY time I see, hear and think of you?

Can you hear that?

Can you hear the voice from my inner most being?

Can you hear it singing out your name,

Telling you this is not a game?

Can you hear that?

Can you hear the words from my mouth?

Can you hear the phrases too?

Going, I like you.

No. I think I love you.

Actually.
Honestly.
I KNOW I love you.

But alas, this is only wishful thinking filled with sighs,

That you could hear what I hear.

That if only.

If only you could hear that...

*************************

In the silence with thousands of thoughts in my head and a heavy laden heart, I wrote this inspired because of my feelings of loneliness. I realised how much I needed to come back to writing. It's been a long while...

Good to be back in the blogging sphere.

Ciao.


p.s.: To those who has had moments like this where your feelings and voice go unheard, I feel you.

Head : Heart

Photo from here

HEAD

HEART

Oh dear Heart, wounded at Thou?

Yes, I am

But why, dear Heart? Why?

Because today I'm reminded of my loneliness

Loneliness? But you're not alone! So many friends around you!

True.

There are many around me.

But how many truly knows me as my true self?

How many?

How many would call me theirs?
How many actually knows what I long for?
They see Body and think I'm fine.
They see Face or Face's smile, and they think I'm happy all the time.

When in fact, I long for companionship.

I long for another heart to call me his own.

One day soon, dear Heart. One day soon.

When is that dear Head?

When can that be?

Life-long wait so far and where has that gotten me?

Less and less choices. Less and less opportunities.

What if LOVE passed by and I didn't notice it?
What IF?!

But God loves you and He won't forsake you.

I do know that.

And I have you, Head, to remind me of God's Love.
Constantly.

I do feel His love as well.
Truly I do.

And I know I should be satisfied with His Love.

Yet, there is this deep desire within me.

And day by day; year by year goes by.

Desire stays but hope gets less.

It diminishes.

Hope-less.

Oh dear heart. Don't go there. Don't beat yourself too hard.

How can I not head?

How can I not beat myself down?

Never have I been deemed beautiful by another man.

Even though mentioned that I am beautiful, somehow it is always only enough to be a sister.

When will that special someone say that to me?

Why is it that it can never go beyond?

If truly I am beautiful, why don't I feel it?!
If truly I am beautiful, why don't I see it?!
What is the point of "beauty" if loneliness still creeps in?!!
[HEART breaks down and cry]

[HEAD stays silent]


*sigh*

I don't know Heart.

*sigh*

I don't know too, head.

******************************

Just one of those lonely days.

Time to get a grip of myself again.

Tomorrow will be a new day, Sarah.

Hope can, and WILL be restored.

Ciao.